Death Note: Children's Tales Gone Wrong
by Fallon-Skybird
Summary: You're favorite childrens tales, with Death Note twists added to them. My writing is slaughtered with my boredom. Rated T for cursing, and idiocy.
1. The Three Little Kira's

**Hey, it's Fallon-SkyBird! We had to rewrite the three little pigs in English class today on how we remembered it... I had so much fun. I know it sucks but, it was written in close to 10 minutes. Expect more in this series of spoofs on modern day children's stories.**

**Death Note: Children's Tales Gone Wrong**

The Three Little Kira's

Once upon a time, as all good stories should start, there were three little Kira's destined to serve, or be the god's of the new world named Mikami, Light, and Misa. One day, these little Kira's decided to go out and get there own houses.

The first little Kira, Mikami, decided to make his house out of ball-point pens. Then one day, this awesome-awkward-sweet- loving detective by the name of L came to his door and said "Mikami, Mikami, let me in, I suspect you are Kira… oh… and I want some sweets."  
"No!" Mikami yelled out the door "I NEED TO SHAVE SO I DON'T LOOK STUBBLY FOR GOD! AGH!" the awesome-awkward-sweet- loving detective stood there for about ten minutes waiting for the door to open. He got tired of waiting though, so using his capoeira-ninja-skills, he tried to kick in the door, but the entire house collapsed from his powerful blow.  
He looked down at the rubble for a moment, and saw Mikami's mangled corpse: Skewered with fountain pens, covered in ink. L looked around, but was peeved when he realized any sweets there were no longer edible. He angrily stomped off to go the second little Kira's house.

"Light!" he yelled, pounding on the wall made of black note books "Let me in! I'm dying of sugar withdrawal!" I already felt my hands shaking "Oh! And BTW, I'm pretty sure you are Kira, just saying."

But there was no response; all L heard was the sound of dramatic scribbling on paper, and the sound of insanely evil laughter. L's stomach growled so he knocked on the door again "LET ME IN OR THE HOUSE IS GOING DOWN!"  
There was sudden screaming "NO! NOOOO!" it went silent as a dull thud sounded out. I proceeded to rip open the door only to see Light laying there dead with a black notebook in one hand, and a cupcake in the other.  
L leaned down sadly "Oh no…" he crouched over Light's dead figure, and checked his pulse: He was dead. L paused and looked around "Such a waster," L said lifting the cupcake from L's dead hands. What? What would the dead kid do with it?

After finishing the cupcake, and going through bags of dramatic potato chips with mini TV's in them, and crates full of apples, L left for the third little pigs house.

Being the laziest pig, Misa hired a contractor to build the house for her. L came knocking at the door "Misa? Misa Amane! Let me in, it's Ryuzaki!" the only response was a painfilled scream from the other side of the house, and the sound of a back napping. What ever. L opened to door and went to the fridge to eat EVERYTHING. The end. :D

**Comment! Review! NEXT CHAPTER: Green Eggs and Ham.  
Any ideas for later chapters?**


	2. Kira's Green Eggs and Ham

**This, my dear children, is boredom. Disgusting boredom, and shotty note book work. Enjoy if you have a small brain capacity. **

**Death Note: Children's Tales Gone Wrong**

Kira's Green Eggs and Ham

~~Light POV~~

"Oh Ryuzaki~!" I sang, racing to the detective with messy black hair.

He looked up from the newspaper "Oh, hey there Sam." He said blandly went back to reading the latest news on dead criminals.

"Um, Ryuzaki? My name is Light?" I stared at him in a peculiar fashion.

"That's nice Sam," he took a sip of his coffee.

"Um, yeah, sure… Sam…I am… Nevermind…" there was an awkward pause "Sooo…" I pushed the plate I was hiding behind my back towards L.

He just stared at it for a minute, doing nothing what-so-ever, then spoke up "What is **That**?" he prodded at what was on the plate with a fork.

"It's breakfast," I informed him.

"Oh…" he took a sip of coffee "Enjoy that Sam,"

"No! It's not for me!" I assured him, patting his shoulder "It's for you!" I nudged the place closer to him.

"Why would you make me breakfast?"

"Well…" I said circling him "It's sort of for punching you in the face 4 months ago!" I said laughing insanely at my lie. This breakfast had a completely different purpose. He continued staring at me blankly.

"No thanks Sam,"

"W-What?" I cried, startled at his response "But, why not?

"Well," his eyes burned into mine "Yesterday you made Matsuda breakfast and he is throwin up right now. Not to mention Light, I've seen your cooking grade. It was horrible, and your father warned me NEVER, I repeat, NEVER to accept food from you. With all of these facts put together, there is a 100% chance I will never eat your home cooked meals."

"But nothing is wrong with these Eggs here!" I screamed in protest.

"The eggs are green, Sam."

I snorted "Wh-What!"… "AHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH AHA HAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S RIDICULOUS! THEY'RE NOT…" I stared at their radioactive green glow "UM…. GREEN! IT'S JUST THE LIGHTING! AHAHAHAHAHA! SILLY RYUZAKI!" I punched his shoulder "TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!" I hoped he didn't realize I poisoned his eggs…

I pestered him for the next hour until this happened.

"OKAY! OKAY!" L snapped "I GIVE UP! If I eat your go-forsaken green eggs and ham, will you LEAVE ME BE?"

I smiled widely "Of course!" I handed him the fork he had shoved in my hand earlier "Here you go."

He shuddered and reached down to take a bite of the eggs "M." He grunted swallowing "Yummy. Delicious. Leave." He wiped at him mouth with a napkin.

"Nope." I said smiling.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because, I'm Kira."

His eyes widened, and then they went to suspicion "Oh Really?"

I paused "Um… really. I am. And in 10 seconds you will be dead."

"Why?" he said blandly.

"Because, I poisoned your food!" I began laughing insanely and looked over to see L smiling at me. Why was he smiling? He stood up and dropped his napkin into my hand. Inside of his napkin was the bite of green eggs I thought he took.

"Stay here Sam, I'm going to go tell Light I caught Kira!" He smiled at me and walked down stairs "I am JUSTICE! Haha!" He laughed lightly.

**So bored. This chapter sucked cow nipples because I got lazy. Any ideas for a second chapter?**


End file.
